The Year 2020!

2020. What a year it has been. In the future when people say the year was 2020, anyone and everyone across the world will know it was a year of hardship, uncertainty and suffering. There is no corner of the world which has been untouched by this natural (well or manmade, I am not getting into conspiracy theories here) phenomenon. A disease, a virus that affects all, young or old, rich or poor, in a developed country or developing country. Like it goes with everything, some countries, cities and people are better equipped to deal with it and some not. And of course some choose not to deal with it even if they are equipped, but I suppose that is a political discussion within those countries. 

But irrespective of your means, your age, your pre-existing conditions, this virus still seems to have a random pattern of natural selection. Yes, by now its a known fact, that it attacks those with a compromised immune system harder. So be it people that are aged or people with pre-existing conditions, they are 'more likely' to be more severely affected. But even now, when we're almost reaching COVID-19's 1st birthday, we are talking in terms of 'likely', 'chances' and 'probabilities'. We are still not sure. And with numerous vaccines in numerous countries in various stages of development, we still have no clue as to when we really will get there.

I have personally been affected by the disease, not actively but passively. And let me tell you, that does not in any way reduce the suffering. What I mean by passively is I have not acquired the virus, but I have been very much affected by my family members contracting it and even taken away by it. Within my family, we've seen death, illness, hospitalisations, loss of jobs, isolation, deteriorating mental health, financial pressures, and much more. And the fact is so has everyone else. Every person is this entire world has been affected by this virus in some way, shape or form. 

I spent a good month in India at the end of last year. Made a lot of happy memories with a lot of people back home, a lot of whom I met after ages. Friends, family, cousins from across the globe. And my papaji (grandfather). Kids have such fond memories and pictures with him that are so very fresh. An absolutely golden month with travels across India and weddings and my brothers engagement. It was possibly the best trip to India ever. What makes it even more special now is how all of that happened right before the world changed forever. Or at least for the foreseeable future. 

Papaji left us. Yeah it took a global pandemic to take down a strong willed and proud great grandfather in his late nineties. But he was taken. But like our elders teach us to always find the good in each situation. We remember him by all the memories and good times and stories he shared throughout our lives. And find peace in the fact that he didn't have to suffer too long and found peace (for all the hindu's out there yes he found moksh, peace same thing, keep your thoughts to yourself or on your own blogs). In my mind he's with chhaiji now. Happily together again.

Although a massive shock, we didn't get to grieve when it actually happened. Because it was just the beginning. This was early May. India was very quickly and abruptly put into a hard lockdown and so we though our family was safe. But the trouble with this enemy was you couldn't see it. My dad who is a surgeon took profound precautions and utmost care to not let COVID19 touch them. Because they were the only carers for papaji and they knew the risks to him and themselves. They were completely locked down, a lot more than a lot of others around them. But destiny has its own way. We do not always know what the future holds. SO it did come in. How, is kind of irrelevant, because noone can change it now or could have known then. But it infected mumma, daddy and papaji. The nature of the disease meant it attacked papaji most ferociously due to his age and pre-existing conditions. But being in the high-risk category, it affected mumma and daddy too. 

So the first thing you understand about human nature when something like this happens to you is, you are alone in this world and you have to fight your own battles. People around you offer you words and stories, but nothing else. There is no compassion and kindness left in this world of materialistic pleasures and greed. Self preservation is the first thought. Why help someone when you know you can contract the virus yourself by doing so. Well at least that is what the first experience is. But then kindness shines through. A few good people. Friends and gems who've been placed in our lives as a ray of hope. All is not yet lost in the world. There is still hope for us as a species yet. 

Mumma and daddy spent a few days to a week in the hospital. Together and then alone because of the latency of when they contracted the virus and when they were positive with it. It was a hard time. For them. And for us. They have 3 children, and in the most amazing global family way, all of us are in different continents. The sheer helplessness you feel as a child, of being so very far and not be able to be of any help or support in the time they most need it. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is not a pleasant feeling. The boundaries of the world that were so blurred with the ease of access and travel, suddenly were blocked by walls of concrete or the vast oceans in between.

A few months of fevers, aches, foot and hand rashes, shadows in the lung x-rays and lots and lots of continues fatigue, tiredness and exhaustion which still continues, they tested negative for the virus and are safe and mostly home! Phew! Conditions are still not very much controlled in India but so relieved to know they are on the other side of this and safe.

We've seen first hand the reduction of work during the height of the First wave in Australia. It was the uncertainty of what's to come that caused companies to put a pause and even stop to people's livelihoods. We are grateful that being in the IT industry we had the opportunity to switch to a Work from Home (WFH) model with comparative ease. There was uncertainty for the retail sector and hubby being in the application IT side for a footwear company was enough to make us aware of the uncertainty and fear of what's to come. But they managed well. Government grants and JobKeeper supports kept people and the economy going. Some businesses even made profits. Turns out some people weren't as badly affected, or well shopping was their therapy and they bought shoes like hotcakes! 

Its not just the physical, seen effects of the pandemic that affected people. The major effects specially here in Australia were felt, emotionally. The mental toll on people, us, kids was massive. Being locked down in houses for months on end with no physical contact with people outside our households and only be able to go out for essentials and that too only 5 Kms. It was hard. But at the time, we got through it, because there was no other option . Well there was, but we all chose to be safe, listen to the scientific advice and stay put rather than risk COVID infection. We kept the kids busy, spend time with family, some of the best time, doing things together that we all love, pursuing hobbies that we never get time for generally and organising parties and celebrations virtually. Life finds a way! We are a resilient species intrinsically. We've survived as the dominant species of the world for thousands of years after all. 

If someone told me 2 years ago to home school our kids. I would say are you kidding me! But we did. Almost a whole term was remote learning from home. A massive effort from the schools, teachers, parents and students. We all adjusted, in whatever capacity we could. But we did, learn, play and support each other. So where the pandemic showed us the worst of people, it also showed the best. It highlighted everyone's core strengths and weaknesses. And it is up to all of us what we do with that knowledge.

For the whole of 2020, we just kept worrying about my brothers wedding which was planned and set for Oct 1st 2020. So we were all going to make it to India in October of 2020. It is no easy feat to plan that, when your family is spread across 4 continents. By August/September we knew for sure it wasn't to take place this year. Or so we thought. 

So we in Australia, some may say, have been extremely lucky, to not be completely ravaged by the spread of COVID-19. We had our share of 2 waves, first in NSW from the Ruby Princess cruise ship and the second in Victoria from a hotel quarantine leak. Still, the total fatalities in Australia from COVID-19 is under 1000. There is a notion that it is due to the fact that we are an island nation and therefore cut off from the rest of the world. But I believe this can be one of the factors why we could continue to control it, however its not the reason why we controlled it. The reason is our state leaders taking the charge and doing what's right for their states. And for the most part the national leaders taking the charge to stop incoming travellers to restrict incoming infection. The people of Australia, even though whinging through a lot of them, but mostly adhered to the rules and restrictions put in place based on scientific and medical advice form the epidemiologists and Chief health officers of the country or states. 

So by December 2020, when the world was getting into their massive 2nd and 3rd waves, we in Australia were mostly COVID free and enjoying the summer and the holiday season. We could finally be out and about, shop and be with friends and family. Well mostly, if your family was local to Australia. Inter-state travel was possible and open but International travel is a long long way away. So with people like me, our wait is endless, to be with our family. 

So, when in November my brother mentioned the possibility of going to India from US and getting married in December, we were more than happy to say 'Go for it!'. Because no one could say when the world would be back to normal again. Or more specifically Australia would let us out and back in again. So no point holding a wedding and your loved ones hostage to this uncertainty. 

Then began the almost impossible task of prepping for an Indian wedding in less than 4 weeks! Mind you it involved the groom crossing halfway across the world from the USA to India, after testing negative for COVID, safely landing and be let into India and ensuring he stayed safe and COVID free while in India to return back to the USA in precisely 2 weeks! The logistics ooh! Hard yeah...but even so, it happened! The Bride's family rose to the occasion like a boss! Planning a perfect and beautiful wedding in such little time and even helping my mum and dad where possible. Because mum and dad were alone. All us siblings were in Australia, Germany and the USA. No family to help with the wedding of their only son. 

The sadness and disappointment of not having us 3 kids together for such an important occasion no doubt was massive for our parents. But they didn't even have the time to feel the sadness. 2020 just keeps throwing bouncers at them and the  best thing to do is step forward and take a shot and so they have been doing. For all of 2020. Including all the prep for the wedding. And the way that their friends rose to the occasion, again proving all is not lost in the world. At a time when we ourselves were unable to be physically present with our parents, we could put our trust in their friends. Not family, friends. 

Whoever said 'Friends are the family you get to choose for yourselves.' was a genius. And we saw it first hand. Mum and dad's friends stepping into all the roles of family, making all the prep and rituals go smooth. And Raghav and Srishti's friends stepping up and taking on all the roles of us sisters and jeeju's so very beautifully. We were touched by all the effort they all put in, especially my brother Raghav and Srishti and friends to make us be 100% involved in all the festivities through Zoom and continuous commentary. They would be forever blessed for all that they did for us. We probably wouldn't have been as involved with the festivities and got to enjoy as much if we were physically present. No doubt it would have been a different kind of awesome, but we made the most of what we could, and it was awesome anyway. 

My sister Smiti in Germany and I in Australia planned some video compilations of wishes from far and wide at the request of our brother. And as a surprise, we also created a medley of performances, all shot within 4 days of the wedding, edited, compiled and made fabulous by Smiti and I. It was such a special time. We were all up at odd hours, being all across the globe, planning and editing the videos together and just having a blast in the process. The special bond we created together in this time will be cherished forever. We laughed, we cried, we got upset and we celebrated. I wouldn't change it now after living through that time. We probably talk about Raghav and Srishti's friends as if we know them personally. The number of times we saw all the video's and edited them, we are on first name or nickname basis with all of those guys now..lol even though they don't know us!

We ended 2020 with a blast. A party with the friends we call family here in Australia a day before NYE. And a homely but lavish celebration for the end of this manic year with the people who matter the most to me, my family, Aman, Anya and Anam...ooh and Jerry! 

Here's hoping 2021 brings good health and peace to all.